Papa and I always have a good time together. We are like two peas in a pod. He is 80 and quite frail but mentally 100% there.
One of our favorite things to do is go for a walk in the community. During this 30-60 minute walk we talk absolute nonsense. Don’t get me wrong, in our minds we are indeed trying to solve mankind’s insurmountable problems. But it’s really all blather and excessive criticism. Papa is very blunt and offends a lot of people. So do I. We make a perfectly matched pair.
The topic of our profound discussions is anything that we lay our eyes on to criticize and look down upon. The broken streets, the overflowing sewage, the stray animals, peoples’ homes, people themselves. Nothing is out of bounds or forbidden. Everything and everyone gets a lash of our tongue. We slice it and dice it till it is reduced to nothingness. It’s as if we are the only two chosen denizens who are worth a penny. The rest is all bunkum and malarkey.
Sometimes (rarely) we do give people a break. It’s only an inch, never more, and always copiously infused with judgemental shaming.
We are struck by how people are always in a hurry. Are they going to get far ahead in their sad little lives if they didn’t slow down? It’s October and not even winter yet. The madam wearing three sweaters, a shawl, thick socks, and a monkey cap must have a thyroid disorder if she is freezing already. The gentleman driving that busted ear-splitting two-wheeler – where’s your helmet and why don’t you get the silencer fixed, my goodness. What a miserly creep. Young men pretending to be boys playing cricket in the field all the time are a dime a dozen. GET A FRIKKING JOB you ghouls. Who plays cricket during the day on a weekday? What are their parents doing, letting them loose without any control? Parenting has reached the pits indeed.
Then there are the houses. Good lord, why do people live in such atrocious homes? It really cuts deep into our hearts. They are all bad generally but the worst one is that hideous mammoth that’s literally hanging on the streets without a front yard. Home owners are so tacky. For god’s sake let there be a small garden in the front. They will use every possible inch to build the concrete horror show and then proceed to steal flowers in early morning hours from other peoples’ gardens! Cheapskates.
We finally decide to head back home after having had enough of the phooey gooey. We did our job. We criticized. We showed them the way. We will do it again tomorrow – in another part of the community.
All in a day’s work. GP and TP have it all sorted out. 
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